Sunday, February 17, 2013

The Whys...

2013. A new year. Almost: February 17th. 

I am committing to writing down my goals and hopes with the intent they will solidify... despite the fact that I feel awkward and slightly out of place writing a blog. It's not really my 'thing'. 

Having said that, let's get back to the day's work: 

I don't believe in New Year's resolutions.  They rarely work.  I believe in change, though, the most difficult kind.  And that is why I am writing this.  Because I need you and you need me.

And because maybe you want to change.  I know I want that. Have wanted that.  Continue to want that.  Maybe you're like the old me, not knowing how to change.  Not accepting any way other than the one that hasn't been working, but damn it's so comfortable because you know that routine.  Well, change is hard.  It really is uncomfortable sometimes and awkward.  It pushes you into dark ,cramped spaces and down narrow, damp alleys.  It forces you into the ugly places inside of you and makes you look at them, smell them and put your tongue to them and know their bitterness.

It is no easy thing, change.

But I refuse to resist it. 

I have been struggling in my change for so many reasons.... but the most pressing is because I find it difficult to balance the peace of mind that comes from freeing oneself of desires and the culture in which we live which promotes immediate material gratification as  a remedy for our "unhappiness".

I put that word in quotations because I think the "western world" has bastardized what happiness really is.  We've made it a getaway to an all inclusive resort, a spa day, the thread count in our sheets.  I've been seeking the meaning of my happiness.  It has been no easy feat considering I have no mentor.  So, as an autodidact, I've begun to read and study the ways of religions and philosophers to see what has come before me so that I may make my path.

I am currently reading The Way, which presents the Kabbalah view of spirituality.  I am fascinated by how many connections I see with Buddhism, but also how it is so different.    What I find the most personally satisfying about Kabbalah is that the "light" is within us.  That we are made of the stuff of angels, despite our human form.  Although Kabbalah speaks of "the Creator", and I am not monotheistic, I believe that there is something, a spirit, which binds us, like in the movie Avatar (and here comes my western upbringing).  But think about the Navi's tree.  How it connects them all.  James Cameron was onto something there.  And so I end my very first blog with a quote from the text and for the very reason I am writing, to help you and to help me discover the "light" within me and follow my path:

"Each one of us literally has the power to chanhge the world, because each one of us carries a spark of the Creator of the universe at the core of our being.  In fact, the amount of light that we reveal depends upon our understanding of the power we have to reveal it.  With the light, it's not a matter of I'll believe it when I see it.  Instead, it's When you believe it, you'll receive it.  This is a significant difference from our experience of the everyday world.  If you walk into a dark room and flip on a light switch, the room will fill with exactly the same amount of light every time whether you understand the workings of electricity or not.  In the spiritual realm, however, our understanding of an actions' potential regulates the amount of light that manifests itself.  When we question our power to reveal the Light of the Creator, when we belittle our spiritual importance in the world, we activate a self-confirming prophecy" (94).

I look forward to this journey with you. 


  1. I enjoyed your post. I too am seeking that form of happiness that is real, one that elucidates life. Buddhism has answered many questions, actually it has simplified the reasons of my search. I so desired a higher power, one that loved us, controlled certain elements of our lives, one that protected me. Yet I found this to be wanting. Life simply is! It happens, and we must cope with what comes our way. It’s not necessarily punishment, or because we are not “destined” for that way, it just is. Not everything happens for a reason…not a good one anyways, but happens based on the usual explainable cause and effect, e.g. I dropped the milk because it slipped, I misplaced the keys because I didn’t pay attention where I put them or someone moved them, etc.
    My pathway currently is defined by the four noble truths:

    The truth of suffering (dukkha)
    The truth of the cause of suffering (samudaya)
    The truth of the end of suffering (nirhodha)
    The truth of the path that frees us from suffering (magga) – the eight fold path

    Here I find a map to understanding my own problems and a solution for them. I look forward to future topics.


  2. Jackson,
    I too am following the path that you discussed. I am studying the elements within Dukkha currently and discovering new forms of prayer and meditation. Any hints or advice you have is greatly appreciated.

  3. It is better to light one small candle than to curse the darkness. :)

    1. “An act to make another happy, inspires the other to make still another happy, and so happiness is aroused and abounds. Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the single candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared. Those who seek Enlightenment must be careful of each of their steps. No matter how high one’s aspiration may be, it must be attained step by step. The steps of the path to Enlightenment must be taken in our everyday life.”

      ~"The Teaching of Buddha"